changes..

hmm..i've always tot that we choose who we become in the future, but i think i'm partially wrong. sometimes changes come to us whether we are prepared for it or not. whether this change is permanent or temporary, only time can tell.

Coming here to moscow has made me become more sensitive to the surroundings. i used to think that i'm the centre of the universe.in other terms, i was selfish and ignorant. but now, reality hit me so hard that i'm knocked off the centre to the periphery! haha, how ironic.

i'm not sure whether this change is good for me. well, it reduced my confidence level to almost nil(i was always unsure of my own abilities), BUT it kinda made me a stronger person. It's as though i'm being pushed so hard to the edge that i have to fight very hard to swim against the current so that i don't fall over the edge! So in a good way, i'm undergoing mind training at this northern end of earth.

Coming here made me realize that i've taken many things for granted. I've loved music but i've never appreciated the fact that i can play the piano everyday when i was still in malaysia! It's really good for the soul. I've missed my thrombone and my piano. i've missed all my cd hunting excursions! sigh....

And most important of all, i've finally realized the importance of having and being a member of the family. There's no other ppl in this world which i feel closest to eventhough i'm physically distant from them. Made me realize that they are the onli ppl that i can trust! And i miss all of them!